introductiion

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 05:14:26 GMT

i. the energy to fight

you're tired. you're always tired, and you're tired of being tired. leaning over your homework you fight the urge to sleep. your head lulls down, jumps back and you rub your eyes barely able to keep them open. your eyes are red, sore from studying -bleeding with tears. you want to sleep, want to forget about this work that never ends but your teachers words ring too loudly, (study harder! there are no excuses you need to stop fooling around!) you choke, cry over your homework and pick up your pencil while wondering when 'work harder' will hurt less.

you work hard, pencil to paper. working just to get through the day for tomorrow.

but, tomorrow will be a new day you don't think you have the energy to fight for.

ii. listen to the sad song

the song is so quiet, too quiet. you turn it up slowly, listening carefully to the bass growing louder and stronger. soon the lyrics join in, melding into a perfect piece. you've listened too it many times, so many times but something in the way your heart beats fast paced along with the sad song makes it sound different. makes it more poetic, more touching. so much more real.

makes the fact that you're trying to stop yourself from crying much too hard.

you shrug and continue to listen to the sad song that makes you cry. it's better to cry with true emotion then hide behind more lies.

be true.

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 05:09:45 GMT

i. give up on ( myself )

like the sands of time passing by slowly. you sit and count the ways to free yourself, everything will be alright, everything will make sense and your tears will have a purpose. but, you question when this day will come just as you question when the days will grow longer with meaning. yesterday is a memory and today is lost, tomorrow taunts you in whats to come, go wrong, maybe fix if luck so chooses to play on your side of the court.

when you cry, you cry with passion. you let the tug at your heart fill you, happily. feel a smile press along your lips while hot tears leave their mark against the red of your cheeks.

( have you ever known the feeling of the world giving up on you? ) i'll try not to give up on ( myself ) you.

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 02:11:39 GMT

i. cotten candy dreams

you walk to the window and count the stars with your finger, connecting the dots until his palm is against your hand; connecting them with you.

fingers thread through yours and you turn. catching his deep brown eyes and knowing you could get lost in them, fall into all the right cliques. fall into the pool of those deep pools of beauty or welcome new thoughts as you look through the windows of his soul. cliques or not, sometimes they fit so perfectly.

a grin falls against your lips and you think about everything you made fun of when you were young. lions and tigers and monkeys, oh my. cotton candy tasting clouds leading to the yellow brick road that leads to the ginger bread man and his ever lasting vitality making you wonder just how long he can last, catch me if you can, i call your bluff.

day dreaming again?
is it really day dreaming when it's night?
dreaming, again, then?
possibly.

he tells you, you think too much. curling into bed and yawning. you tell him to shut up. feeling his arms tug you closer, you smile into his neck and wrap your limbs around his body. another yawn rattles your body and soon you're asleep. his breathing your only lullaby.

you dream of diving into his deep eyes, everlasting love, cotton candy tasting clouds and the ginger bread man.

(o9o1o8; 2:05a)

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 01:58:05 GMT

i. breathe

she paints pictures, colors and textures. feels the emotion drip from her fingers, collecting pieces of dirt, lies (-everything she doesn't know she holds) and collects it altogether to mix and stir, lie and smile, paint another pretty picture that shows her for who she is(n't). who she want's to be is a dream. who she is, is a nightmare and the steps she takes to get away only lead to dances leaving her breathless. tears so salty, so evil, so ugly and blind fall down her cheeks. say hello, fuck you, and goodbye. she looks in the mirror and see's a picture sketched so dull -wonders who the stranger is.

days too long and nights too short play reminders that one day, yes, one day she may be able breathe (-stop drowning).

but for now, she'll disappear, hidden behind her wishes, dreams, lies and questions. play notes against her cheek (-feel it in her heart).

resting her jaw against her palm she watches as her world paints a picture she didn't even create.

(one day, one day she'll breathe with no worries lacing her sigh. one day, she'll paint her own master piece and know she lived.)

(9:32p)